Monday, September 15, 2003

This is a new concept for me, but I feel that it might help me rest my hand from all of the writing I do in my home journal, not to mention all of the trees it saves!

I think this will be good therapy if you will. I need a way to get out the thoughts faster than my hand can write them. I don't make a lot of sense sometimes. I am a horrible speller as well, so if you read this, you will just have to deal.

I have been searching for an answer for the last few years, or maybe more, from God as to what I am to do with this life. Funny how a person who is married with children can have such an identity crisis, but I have been like this for years.

I guess I could blame it on my family, but I tried that already and realized that it just doesn't work that way. I am responsible for my actions, therefore it is my fault I am in the state I am in. Don't get me wrong, I am not bad off in any way compared to millions of other people in this world. Compared to most I have a great life. I am just not content with where I am at. (Yeah, me and millions of others. ) So, I search every day for that one sign that will tell me what to do, or which way to go. Sometimes I think I must just be blind and stupid because I still haven't seen it and yet I continue to look for it. And most days I figure it is right under my nose and God just isn't ready for me to find it. Or , I am not ready.

Anyway, strap on your seatbelts and be prepared because this is probably going to be a hell of a ride. Perhaps my purpose is to blog every event so that someone somewhere might learn a thing or two.


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