Thursday, January 31, 2008


They are sneeky little bastards!

I got up this morning all ready for a nice quiet breakfast. My daily rutine includes taking meds and vitamins, so I went to the cabanet and found thousands of ants that seem to have come from no where just hanging around the medicine cabinet. What the hell?!?!

I looked and looked, but couldn't find out where they were comming from or even what they would be in there for. A party maybe? They are like little ninja ants or something too because they started taking off all crazy like. I cleaned them out, but now I feel compelled to clean out the pantry as well. It makes me itch just thinking about them. Maybe I will clean out that whole side of the house as well.

Not the greatest morning event I have had these days. Later I get to go pay rent and rant about the ants! I know chemicals aren't good for the environment, but I am having something done. And I am not paying for it this time.

Okay, I am done bitching!

I got to help facilitate a group meeting Tuesday night. We talked about Methamphetamines and what they do to the body.

"Chronic abuse can lead to psychotic behavior, including paranoia, insomnia, anxiety, extreme aggression, delusions and hallucinations, and even death."


"Although these pleasure centers can heal over time, research suggests that damage to users' cognitive abilities may be permanent."

Interesting and informative. There is a great photo display of how Meth can change a person. Go to Google and look up "faces of meth" and you will get to see some real pictures of real meth users and how the drug changed them. It is just sad!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Cough! Sniffle...

I went on a road trip and all I got was a cold!

Not really. I also got to laugh my ass off watching my brother playing charades, listen to my sister pretend to be me on the phone to my best friend, see my beautiful niece and nephews, watch a pet snake eat a defenseless little mouse, play Rock Band, eat tons of awesome food that my dad made, and sleep in a winter wonderland.

I had a great weekend. Well worth the head full of snot. :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I'm doing what?

I'm about to embark on a road trip with my dad and brother. I know, crazy, but it is their birthday's this month and they wanted to celebrate with a road trip to see my sister. To be honest I am not looking forward to it as I am fighting off the beginning of a cold and I am horrendously busy these days, but sometimes we just have to take a time out.

My day starts with a 4:30 wake up call tomorrow morning and I am not, I repeat, NOT a morning person. Thank God for coffee. Then, while I am trying to visit with family, I have a paper to write and some research to do. Yippee!

I don't mean to complain, I mean, I am thankful to be able to spend time with my father and siblings, it is just that they tend to treat me like shit most of the time. Part of me wonders why I agreed to go in the first place. Only God knows. Hopefully there will be enough of us there that I can kind of disappear before any focus comes to me. That would be the secret of my survival all of these years people. Now the secret is out.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Livin' La Vida Loca

Life has been on the crazy side lately. My days are filled and the work never ends, and for some reason, I am kind of glad. Not that I haven't had my plate full while working and home schooling in the past, but this time it is a little different somehow.

Anyway, I started last week on my internship working two nights out of the week. Both nights I found myself going through a mix of emotions. When I found myself with nothing specific to do, I would stand there questioning myself and my presence there. Yet when the people would come in for group, I would find myself feeling relaxed a bit, and totally engaged in listening to their stories while trying to think of ways to connect with them a little better. One unexpected outcome of all of this was memories of past events clicking into my mind, producing weird dreams and slight anxiety. I am hoping that eventually goes away but for now I keep moving forward.

I was told that I will be given my own group to work with pretty soon, and I am both looking forward to it and frightened at the same time. Today I plan on doing research on the twelve steps and other recovery material so I can be better prepared. This is going to be a wild and wonderful twelve week journey. Any advice would be helpful. :)

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


It is fricken cold! I am a desert rat, not a polar bear! Yes, I understand that I do not live in the arctic or anything, but still, I am cold all of the time during the winter here. Then, when we turn on the heat I just want to sleep all of the time because of the warmth and the darkness from the overcast days. It's driving me crazy!!

Okay, so now that I got that out I am feeling a bit better.

I start my work experience tonight and I am a bit nervous. I haven't had a paying job in almost five years and have no idea what to expect tonight. Um, I just remembered, I still won't have a paying job, this is an internship. Still, I am looking forward to it. I will have to write about my experience as it goes along. (As much as I can without violating confidentiality laws that is.)

Time to make some breakfast...

Friday, January 04, 2008

Huge Storm!!!!!

For those who wonder, we are fine and not floating away or being blown over or sliding down a hill. The wind is blowing hard, and the rain has not stopped, but so far so good. There are other places though, that are having problems. Problems with flooding, mud slides and power outages.

Oddly, I feel it is actually kind of nice to have weather that gives us a reason to make hot soup and drink hot cocoa. I really like hot cocoa. And I just might go out and buy an umbrella today. But at the same time I feel blessed to be warm and dry and safe and am praying for this storm to pass quickly and that no one gets hurt.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

2008! Yes!

I am a big fan of starting over on a new year. To me, it really does feel like a nice new start to life, a time where one can take out the trash of the past and start the new year with a new clean bag for all that future trash to come. I can smell the freshness even now!

Today I accomplished a few things that made me feel good later. One was finally purchasing a new address book that isn't a day timer. The idea here is to have a book I don't have to throw out that has all of the important dates and information on family and friends in it. This way I don't lose them either.
Another accomplishment was going to shop for groceries and being able to pass up the cookies and other crap that we really don't need in our house. Although, I would love a cookie and a glass of milk right about now. Oh well.

I'm thinking about taking on a part time job soon at the local community counseling and medical center. I will be doing some work experience for school there anyway and thought I might look into working for them afterwards. My work experience will start in a couple of weeks and I will be working along side a counselor for a drug and alcohol program. They have groups for people who are court ordered to go, and groups for those who want to be there. It should prove to be an interesting four months to say the least and I am actually looking forward to it.

Christmas was fine. We spent a lot of time with family and that time flew by way too fast. It would have been nice to stay longer, but we have so much going on here that we had to get home. Our drive was great as there was very little traffic and we were not in a hurry so we took our time. We got home around just after 9pm on New Year's Eve and celebrated the new year with a confetti fight with the kids. All in all, a nice trip and a great ending to the year. We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

The kids will be starting school again next week. I have a study on the presidential election planned with hopes of bringing history into it in a way that won't be too boring. I also have a few vacations to plan that will include educational aspects. One trip is to Oregon for our niece's graduation from college. I'm looking forward to spending time there exploring and learning with the kids. We plan on taking a trip to Yosemite at some point as well.

I'm tired so I am off to bed.
May your dreams be big and your actions even bigger.