Tuesday, September 16, 2003

I have this friend who suffers from depression just like me, only I take my pill, and this person doesn't. I wanted to yell out "just take the pills and the suffering will end!" but it really doesn't. I am tired of having to rely on a pill to keep my sanity. I am always in a state of constant contentment. I am never overly excited, or extremely depressed, I am just always fine. Where is the fun in that? Perhaps that is the problem, always being in control of my emotions causes me to not be in a state of emergency, ever. So when that is all you ever knew, I suppose it would be hard to live a "normal" life. I want to be excited about something, to loose myself in an activity. I can't seem to do that anymore. Yet, here I sit in front of the computer spilling my guts to who knows who as the time ticks away.

Maybe I am wrong, and I can get excited about things, I am just bored these days. A scary place for a person who relies on a little pill for their sanity.

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