Matheny Creations...

is the name of my new business. I am creating customized photo books and putting together a book of my own work. I'll share more later on all of that. But here are a few pics from todays outing that I thought I would share with you. Enjoy.

We Chose Breakfast Over Church

I'm in the process of creating my first business called Matheny Creations. I'll fill you in on the details later but it has to do with photography and books. Two of my favorite things. 

So we chose breakfast over church today. There is a church a little ways away from our house that I went to last week alone to "check it out" for the family. It was small by comparison to most other churches here but large enough to hide in the back while listening and watching everything that was going on. The worship was fun and reminded me a little of old Apex days. The message was a little ADHD though and I found it hard to understand what the main subject was. But for the most part it was painless and we as a family decided we would attend together this weekend. However, once we got up and started getting ready to go we realized that none of us had breakfast yet and it was already 9:30. (church started at 10.) In the end we took the left turn instead of the right turn and ended up at the near by Denny's having breakfast and talking about Legos, biology, music, and God providing opportunities for growth. We never made it to church, but it kind of felt like we were connected as a family and we were definitely feeling blessed to be together. I find it kind of funny that we haven't managed to get to a church together for the last three years. Maybe we will try again next week. Or maybe we will continue our "gathering" at Denny's. 

I love it!

Only some of you will understand the humor I find in this. But I get a call yesterday that my in-laws need a ride to the airport. No big, I will take them. Later that night I get a call from my dad who also needs a ride to the airport at the exact same time. I think to my self, "now that would be great to see, all three of them in the back of the truck made to sit together for a 30min ride to the airport. Would they behave?" and I laugh real hard with the visual. Reality kicked in though and we worked it out where I will take my father, and Shad will take his parents. Isn't God humorous sometimes though? I love it.

(Back story is obvious. The in-laws and my father do not like each other at all. They have not spoken since the wedding over 14 years ago if they even spoke then which I doubt.)   :)

A Bit of My Story

When I was 4 years old my dad abandoned my mom, my brother, and myself and chose to live a single life. Being that young I really didn't understand what was going on and just loved my dad and wanted him to be proud of me and to love me as much as I loved him. I also didn't understand why he would always have to leave just when he got back home from being away so long. 

Over the years it became clear that my father was never coming home but rather just visiting. It became the norm for me and I adjusted accordingly. However, as I have grown up I have had much difficulty dealing with being around him as I would instantly regress into that child who just wants to be loved by her father, and who wanted her father to stick around a little while. I came to realize that he chose to abandon me and my family. And somewhere deep down inside I felt I must have done something wrong, or must not have been deserving of a father's love.

I share this because my father is currently visiting and I found myself writing in my journal tonight, wondering just why I have been so not myself today. I realized that even after 33 years I still tend to try and regress into that child who wants to be loved by her father. Even worse, I found myself bummed that he will be leaving tomorrow night and feeling like we just don't really know each other as well as we should. 

And then I remembered that the choices he made in his life were his to make, not mine. And even though his choices affected my life in many ways, I was able to find a true Father whom loves me and has loved me all along. Well before I came into this world.

I screw up as much as the next person in life when making choices and living life but this Father never criticises me or abandons me. Instead he continues to love the imperfect me just as He always has. And this brings me a sense of relief knowing that I don't have to be perfect in order to love or be loved. 

And I just felt that I needed to share that little bit of my story tonight. 

Need a job!

Looking for a job. Let's see, it needs to be part time for now, it needs to work with my personal school schedule, it needs to fit around the fact that I home school my kids, and it needs to be something I will enjoy and grow from otherwise I will get bored and not want to do it for long. Oh, and I have to get paid something. Preferably money so I can contribute to our income. Not a lot to ask for right? Any suggestions?

Hailey's Blue Hair!!!

She decided she needed to have her hair black and blue. It is blue under the back as well. She just woke up in this picture so it isn't brushed or anything, but I like it. It's fun to see people's reactions when we go places too. And it is a good lesson in pre-judgement. 

Random things

I found Hot Tamale popcicles! I'm eating one now! Yum!

 Oh and my daughter's hair is black and blue. I'll post a picture soon...

We had a house church reunion type thingy (if you can call it that) the other day. The Carder family was here minus one, and Susie was here! She brought these awesome cookies that I love. (Thanks Suzie!) It was great to finally catch up with everyone. We were missing a few people but it was nice to see everyone that could come hang out. Maybe we can do it again some time soon. 

Pen 15!!! hahahaahahahhaa! I can't get it out of my head.

Dreams

I love my family. However, (you knew that was coming right?) I have a hard time with some of them a lot these days. Some take advantage, others behave like children, and yet more have children that behave like, well, children. (Go figure) So what is my issue? It's more like a question really. Why can't I just love on everyone and them love me back without expectation or manipulation? Why do I have to be drug into the middle of things that have nothing to do with me? "Why can't we all just get along!?!"

Sometimes I just want to move away to a far off island and write books and take photos for a living, eat sea food and drink drinks with little fun umbrellas in them while painting pictures of the sea....very selfish I know. I would need my kids near by of course and my husband as well, and my computer, my dog, well....I guess I would actually be too alone all alone on my island so maybe it's not the best idea. Maybe I should just focus on a nice vacation.

After the Birthday Blues

I had fun on my birthday and now I can't shake the guilt. What's up with that? I mean, I was thinking we never know how many we get for sure (birthdays), so why not start celebrating them and do something fun and actually enjoy them as much as possible. So I did, and the next day I felt guilty about it. Not good. This means I need to start having more fun more often. At least that is my prescribed medicine.