Okay, so I am just trying to waist some time. I am so tired of packing and cleaning and painting and ..................So I thought I would take a moment to do nothing. Not that this is nothing, it is something, but it is not moving.

Why were we so sure that we would be moving out of state? I really felt that we would, yet we are destined to stay here longer. Part of me wonders if we did something wrong, yet the other part of me knows just how stupid that sounds. We didn't do anything that we weren't supposed to do. We are not in control, it is as simple as that. Shad is so depressed. I don't like seeing him like this. I am trying to be positive, and to keep him preoccupied with other things. Sometimes being married is very hard. I think I suck at being a wife, so I am not very good at being there for him when he needs me.However, we have been through so much in our marriage and made it, we will get through this as well. It takes time, patience, understanding, respect of space, etc.........