Monday, November 10, 2003

Time to think

I've had some time to think which isn't always a good thing. For me, that can be dangerous. I am feeling comfortable in my skin these days. Although yesterday I realized that I still have some old habits that I really need to work on. One of those is talking too much. Not just talking on and on, but giving way too much information. I just really don't care what people think of the things I have done in my life. It is my life, and they were things that have gotten me to where I am now. If I had it all to do over again, I would do it all the same. And why should I change who I am for anyone other than God?

Sometimes I am not certain of where I am going, (as if anyone really is) so I get a bit sad, and then I decide to do something to make a difference so that I won't focus on that anymore. Like, cut all my hair off.

So when you are married, it is hard to be yourself because you are so focused on your family. It is like you lose yourself, and then it is so hard to find yourself again. And although you just want to be yourself, it might not mesh well with your partner, so then what? Do you change who you are to better fit in the couple mold? Or do you continue to try to be who you are, not budging an inch to perhaps better fit in the mold. Being a couple is hard, almost harder than being an individual. I wasn't even an individual for that long anyway, but then here I go dishing out too much information.

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