Let's review the last post, shall we?
I started working, I panicked, I tried to jump ship and .........
...I was totally denied! Well, actually, I was told that I would have to "hang in there" until a position opened up in the adult side of things. That pushed me into a bigger panic at first, but then I decided to talk to another counselor about what I was going through. The counselor that has been training me. This was hard to do, and I cried while I admitted my fears and uncertainties. He said he totally respected the fact that I was sharing this and being up front and honest. We talked about the fact that people in this field have to have self confidence in what they are doing. I have always lacked in self confidence anyway, so this was something I needed to hear. We also talked about the difference between teen and adult addicts, the fact that I have the ability to do the job, and many other insightful things. The end result was for me to take the weekend and just think things through, then come in on Monday and share my thoughts and decisions.
Well, here it is Saturday night and I have come to some big realizations about it all. Basically I was a total ball of stress. I was pushed over the edge because I didn't have full confidence in myself, and because I didn't utilize the help of the other counselors and resources available to me. I almost quit, but realize now that I am more than capable of doing this job, that I have tons of resources available to me for help, and that Monday when I go in I will be able to tell them for sure that I am.....well, I think I now what I am, but I am still giving it until tomorrow night to soak in my brain.
So that is my life these days. Craziness I tell you. Emotionally draining craziness! But God teaches me best when I am in my stressful craziness. I am learning so much, and not just about the job but about myself as well. He has a method to His madness I tell ya!