Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Just got back from south of the border. It was nice to get away for a weekend, but weird. I don't think I have ever hung out with my dad alone before. There was always someone with us all of the times before.

I found it awkward and difficult to talk to him. I felt like a little kid. And it never fails, he always finds a way to say something rude or inappropriate to me that totally pisses me off. But I always bit my tongue and keep it to my self. What is the point in arguing? I just won't go there.

While I was there, I was thinking about how he was with a woman before my mom, and this woman had a child. (My half sister) If God really wants people to be together until death do they part, then he should have been with her and her mom, not my mom. So what does that make us? Perhaps that is why it never was to be with them, because he was supposed to be with Mary Jane. So then what was the purpose of God having him meet my mother and her having me and my brother? Yes, I think about these things and I can't talk to my dad about them or my mom, so I am left to wonder. Not that they could give me the answers anyway. And I am 33!!!!!!

I guess I should stop thinking and start working.

Hey Michele, homeschooling allows for a closer relationship between you and your children among other things. I truly feel that all parents should be responsible for their children's education. You have been teaching them from day one, so why stop now? God gave them to you because he knew you were the perfect teacher and mother for them.

Just a thought. I'll stop thinking now.


Amy said...

You need to remember that we are not God's little puppets. He gave us free wills. He knows what decisions we will make, but he allows us to make those decisions. There are times when he has a direct will for his kids and we feel the Holy Spirit nudge us, but it's still our choice. And...Even when people who are and aren't his children make wrong choices he can make good from them. You are still God's child even though your dad made bad choices.

MrH said...

Thanks for the encouragement! I know I would have a closer relationship with my children, but I feel, SOMETIMES, like I would be doing it for my own selfish reasons. I know God placed us in each others lives on purpose. I know we have learned a lot together already and it would probably be really cool to keep on learning together. I just need to keep praying about it until God gives me peace about whatever decision.